Round 2

Round 2...sitting in chair receiving my 2nd treatment. Life's been going so fast since my last...I hadn't really processed until last night when I found myself sobbing in bed about going into today that it was actually here again. The tears did have something to do with my baby starting kindergarten yesterday as well, that was very difficult. He did well though, he told me it seemed like he was there long time, that made me feel so sad...but I know God is answering my prayers for him and as unimaginable as it seems....God cares for Brady even more then me! What a comfort! "Cast all your cares upon Him; for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I started losing my hair about 4 days ago...saw some hairs on my pillow then after my shower quite a bit came out. Even though you know "it's coming" it is still a hard one to swallow.  Since that day, the loss is coming quicker and quicker it seems. I had my head shaved a few days ago, it kinda worried Brady at first but then once he saw me he was o.k. with it.  I was so happy to see my head was pretty nicely shaped! No bumps or lumps...but still a buzz cut for me...not my look :). I have some really cute wigs that have been lent to me and one that I really loved that I bought. Well wouldn't you know my very first day wearing it (yesterday) I was putting a pizza in the oven and immediately when I opened the oven door the bangs singed all up!!!!! I can not express my devastation enough! Brett & I couldn't afford this wig as it was, ($300!!!!) and now with one simple daily activity, it's ruined. Seriously, I was crying and very upset about it. But I have to keep things in perspective...It is just a wig after all right? God created me perfect in His sight, I am a result of His work! I love you Lord, thank you that you think I'm beautiful.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

So today I'm in my scarf, for the world to see, "yes, I'm going through chemo." I don't like the attention of it, I'd rather the "public" not know...I don't know why, here I am blogging to the world about it! LOL  It's my hope to be very open and transparent about my journey, what a waste if I can't glorify and testify as to what God is doing in my life right now through this illness and be of encouragement to others. I think it's that there is a "stigma" attached to it or something, and I don't want people to feel "sorry" for me. I'm beyond blessed, I am getting to see God work in my life like never before...who wouldn't want that????? My heart is so grateful, really, I can not express enough the tremendous love of God that has been filling me, surrounding me, comforting me...."For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!" 2 Corinthians 4:17


The last 3 weeks have been very good, very few side-effects, been trying to do my normal daily activities and keep busy. The doctor said the women who stay active tend to have less side-effects. A few days before I found out about my diagnosis a friend of mine told me about her jewelry business. I knew she did it, but I didn't know much about it.  It was very intriguing and I began to think and pray about it. A few days later when I got this diagnosis, I thought "well, that's not a an option for me now!" But God kept putting it on my heart and I argued a bit, "Lord how can I start a business now? That doesn't make sense....my plate is full!" But again, He kept impressing it on my heart. I begin to see how this business could keep my mind filled with something positive, something good to focus on AND help me to help our family pay for our health insurance that now we NEED TO KEEP! (if you've been following my blog from the beginning you know we were planning on cancelling our insurance effective June 1st....I got my diagnosis on June 1st...just one of the many miracles God had in store for us)

So I made the decision, having a peace from God that He wanted me to do this and He knows what's best for me and what I can handle if I am constantly relying on Him.  I am so glad I did. I am having so much fun doing this business and really enjoyed the 2 shows I've had so far! Thank you to everyone who has supported me, ordered and/or come to one of my parties or have agreed to host a party for me!  My deepest appreciation!!!

We'd also like to thank all of you who have given to our family in so many different ways out of the overflow of your hearts and in obedience to God's call. Particularly my parents...who....haven't left our side for a second and in every way possible poured out all they have in every possible way!  We love you both so much. My sister whose coming again today for my 2nd treatment and was also here for my 1st. Bless You. Bless You. Bless You. I could not do this without God and my amazing, amazing family. Also our Bayside Church family, your love, support, encouragement....we are beyond blessed by you. Our hearts have been changed by your generosity and selflessness.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:2-3