Round 2

Round 2...sitting in chair receiving my 2nd treatment. Life's been going so fast since my last...I hadn't really processed until last night when I found myself sobbing in bed about going into today that it was actually here again. The tears did have something to do with my baby starting kindergarten yesterday as well, that was very difficult. He did well though, he told me it seemed like he was there long time, that made me feel so sad...but I know God is answering my prayers for him and as unimaginable as it seems....God cares for Brady even more then me! What a comfort! "Cast all your cares upon Him; for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I started losing my hair about 4 days ago...saw some hairs on my pillow then after my shower quite a bit came out. Even though you know "it's coming" it is still a hard one to swallow.  Since that day, the loss is coming quicker and quicker it seems. I had my head shaved a few days ago, it kinda worried Brady at first but then once he saw me he was o.k. with it.  I was so happy to see my head was pretty nicely shaped! No bumps or lumps...but still a buzz cut for me...not my look :). I have some really cute wigs that have been lent to me and one that I really loved that I bought. Well wouldn't you know my very first day wearing it (yesterday) I was putting a pizza in the oven and immediately when I opened the oven door the bangs singed all up!!!!! I can not express my devastation enough! Brett & I couldn't afford this wig as it was, ($300!!!!) and now with one simple daily activity, it's ruined. Seriously, I was crying and very upset about it. But I have to keep things in perspective...It is just a wig after all right? God created me perfect in His sight, I am a result of His work! I love you Lord, thank you that you think I'm beautiful.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

So today I'm in my scarf, for the world to see, "yes, I'm going through chemo." I don't like the attention of it, I'd rather the "public" not know...I don't know why, here I am blogging to the world about it! LOL  It's my hope to be very open and transparent about my journey, what a waste if I can't glorify and testify as to what God is doing in my life right now through this illness and be of encouragement to others. I think it's that there is a "stigma" attached to it or something, and I don't want people to feel "sorry" for me. I'm beyond blessed, I am getting to see God work in my life like never before...who wouldn't want that????? My heart is so grateful, really, I can not express enough the tremendous love of God that has been filling me, surrounding me, comforting me...."For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!" 2 Corinthians 4:17


The last 3 weeks have been very good, very few side-effects, been trying to do my normal daily activities and keep busy. The doctor said the women who stay active tend to have less side-effects. A few days before I found out about my diagnosis a friend of mine told me about her jewelry business. I knew she did it, but I didn't know much about it.  It was very intriguing and I began to think and pray about it. A few days later when I got this diagnosis, I thought "well, that's not a an option for me now!" But God kept putting it on my heart and I argued a bit, "Lord how can I start a business now? That doesn't make sense....my plate is full!" But again, He kept impressing it on my heart. I begin to see how this business could keep my mind filled with something positive, something good to focus on AND help me to help our family pay for our health insurance that now we NEED TO KEEP! (if you've been following my blog from the beginning you know we were planning on cancelling our insurance effective June 1st....I got my diagnosis on June 1st...just one of the many miracles God had in store for us)

So I made the decision, having a peace from God that He wanted me to do this and He knows what's best for me and what I can handle if I am constantly relying on Him.  I am so glad I did. I am having so much fun doing this business and really enjoyed the 2 shows I've had so far! Thank you to everyone who has supported me, ordered and/or come to one of my parties or have agreed to host a party for me!  My deepest appreciation!!!

We'd also like to thank all of you who have given to our family in so many different ways out of the overflow of your hearts and in obedience to God's call. Particularly my parents...who....haven't left our side for a second and in every way possible poured out all they have in every possible way!  We love you both so much. My sister whose coming again today for my 2nd treatment and was also here for my 1st. Bless You. Bless You. Bless You. I could not do this without God and my amazing, amazing family. Also our Bayside Church family, your love, support, encouragement....we are beyond blessed by you. Our hearts have been changed by your generosity and selflessness.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:2-3

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!

August 2, 2011

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) and that is just what I did today!!!! I just got home from receiving my first treatment.....I DID IT!!!!! Thanks be to the faithfulness of my God. Thank you to my husband and sister who sat by my side the whole time and prayed with me. Boy oh boy we anointed those medicines with the blood of Jesus, yes we did! I'm home and I feel GREAT...yep, I feel great. We asked and we received. The word tells us in James 4:2..."You do not have because you do not ask God."

When I first walked in the room, smiling, then I sat in the chair. Whoa....this is it, this is the moment....all my thoughts the last few months, the anticipation....it had arrived and so had the tears. That is when I first met Diana, she looked over and heard me saying to the nurse, "This is my first treatment."  She smiled at me, I won't soon forget her beautiful smile and said "I was scared too my first time here, your going to be alright." The tear flow quickened...I feel so surrounded by love and I know God was in that room and filling me with everything I needed. My tears stopped and smile replaced them, thank you Jesus...only in You could that have happened. The three of us prayed and read the word of God aloud before the nurse proceeded...I was ready. Bring it Lord, I want miraculous signs and wonders, I want all you have for me. I want to live in your fullness. Your people are destryoed for lack of knowledge. Hosea 4:6 I want to receive everything you have for me. By your stripes we are healed... Isaiah 53:5
I sat next to another young face (Diana)...I think the only other in the entire building. Divine appointment? I think so! and guess what else???? This 27 year old beautiful lady (with hair still in tact after 8 treatments!) had a baby right around the same time as me!!!! Hello??? What are the odds of that....Jesus, Jesus, JESUS!!!! WOW! Amazing, totally amazing. She told us her story and was an inspiration to all 3 of us. She began talking to us about this book on Buddism that she is reading. She is searching....easy to spot, said she doesn't understand what she reading, this is her 2nd time reading this book.  As Christians, we love, we don't judge, we don't condemn...we don't shout out..."THAT'S A LIE OF SATAN, RUN, RUN!!!" or at least we SHOULDN'T! God called us to love them, ALL. Period. We stand in the truth and we speak when the Spirit prompts us, IN LOVE and in truth. It's God's job to move in hearts of those who are ready to receive the truth. It's no wonder we are not winning more over to the Love of Christ, WE HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT, WE HAVE TO LOVE not judge! It never says in the Bible it will be easy, but if we want to win the world over that's how we ARE going to do it! Amen! Mark 12:31 "Love your neighbor as yourself and there is no commandment greater then these." John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

We smiled and listened and lavished her in love and encouragment, my sister even couragely asked if we could pray for them, they were very receptive and we all sat in the "private" room we shared together and bowed our heads and prayed. It was so amazing, so beautiful...such a divine appointment. I'll continue to keep sweet Diana and her husband in my prayers. 


I prayed that as God breathed life into Adam, He would breath life into my good cells and they would live and not die. I cursed the cancer cells in Jesus Name....and I know without doubt that God heard my plea and answered my prayers. For God answers the prayers of the righteous....James 5:15 "God answers the prayers of the righteous." And am I righteous only by the blood of Christ and God see's me a Holy and just. Sin had left a crimson stain and He washed it white as snow.YES! I love it, I love it, I love it! I love Him, I love the POWER in His word. I love that it transformes lives and it HAS transformed ME! It's so awesome, there is NO other way to live! I am filled with such joy, such incredible hope. I am so hopeful you need to come touch me and get some of this! No I stand corrected...if you don't know the Savior, it's my prayer, it's my deepest desire....that would bow your head now, don't wait...and ask Him into your heart. There is not a more important decision in your life that you will ever make.

O.K. so get this....I got home and I jumped on the treadmill that my in-laws had brought over for us a few days ago. I AM NOT an exerciser, I don't do it. But I wanted to start while I was undertaking these treatments because I know it is good for me and can help combat fatigue. So my first day exercising is in fact the first day I received chemo treatment. The irony, I love how God operates...totally against the grain of the world. And I love that I'm living in it! I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me, I repeat this truth over and over in my head. Praising Him for my life, praising him that I WILL LIVE and NOT DIE. Psalm 118:17 "I will NOT die; instead, I will LIVE to tell what the Lord has done." I'm so excited to receive all that He has for me. I hope you'll send up praises to Him tonight for a wonderful day filled with His blessings. Thank you for walking in this journey with me and for every prayer you've lifted up for me and my family, may God fill your homes with his Love, Mercy, Grace, Protection, Peace and Joy. Celebrating being 25% done with Chemo! :)

P.S. In case you were wondering, the biopsy I had yesterday of the "suspicious lymph node" from my PET scan, NEGATIVE!!!! 

P.S.S. My sister and I got our hair cut yesterday...she insisted on doing it too...sisters, blessings from above. Look below for our "before" and "after" pictures. Thanks to the lovely ladies at Great Clips for making it a wonderful experience for us!