Ding ding ding, Round 3. God is so good, so, so, so good. I came down with a cold about 3 days ago and was so worried it was going to prolong this 3rd treatment. I prayed and God answered and here I am sitting in "the chair". Who is grateful for sitting in a chemotherapy chair? God has showed me how to be! I really am grateful that I'm well enough to have the chemo today. It is such a blessing because it is very important I stay on schedule with these treatments, something to do with the cell cycle. The chemo works the best if I keep my scheduled treatments on-time.
The day before I have a treatment has a tendency to be emotional for me...also before this one (yesterday) I went to the "look good, feel better" program sponsored by the American Cancer Society....I didn't think I looked good or felt better afterwards honestly. I guess I just wasn't in the mood for it or something, maybe it was the "reminder" of what I'm going through, I don't know, I wasn't "feeling" it!!! It was nice to get some free make-up and I'm grateful for that. All the ladies there were going through chemotherapy too and were sportin' there baldness....I wore my wig and wish I hadn't because then I felt weird taking it off, so I didn't take it off, then I felt weird that I didn't take it off.....hard to explain. I just wanted to run away to whole time. Which is so unlike me, I didn't feel like myself at all. Normally I would have wanted to love on the ladies, Glorified God, talked more & been open....but yesterday I felt like hiding instead.
Been feeling really well for the most part....I know it's answered prayer, God loves me so much, I feel it to my very core. I've been doing my normal everyday activities and running my new jewelry business. Definitely couldn't be functioning without my hubby or parents and their help on a daily, hourly and minute by minute basis. God knows what we need and He provides, every time. Having minor stuff really, teary eyes, some tastelessness, dry mouth, skin,etc... I tire a little more easily (course I need to slow down and rest more I'm sure) Definitely experiencing "chemo brain", that part is very frustrating...I have trouble thinking and my thoughts are gone a lot quicker then normal....my poor husband! :) Sometimes even putting words together is hard....I really hope that gets better right away after treatment is over.
Our Church has provided us so much help, the people in our Church are truly are the hands and feet of Christ. Financial support, meals, prayers, phone calls, emails, you name it they are there for us! Brett and I are forever changed, we are so humbled.....We can't wait until it's our turn to "pay-it-forward". Our neighborhood even threw us a garage sale and everybody donated and gave all the proceeds to us! How awesome is that???? Brett is still looking for work, so please keep praying for him too. Brooke just had her 6 month check up and everything looked GREAT! More praises to the Lord!!!! Brady is doing wonderful at kindergarten...I can't believe how much he's learned in only 3 weeks!!!! It's so awesome, more praise!!! (Plus he lost his very 1st tooth a couple days ago!) ;(
My sister and her husband are coming for my last treatment in 3 weeks....I'm going to be so excited when that last treatment is over!!! I'm still praying about what's next....double mastectomy or radiation. I would love some advice from those of you who have been through it. Radiation seems like a better option for me as far as getting on with life quicker. With the mastectomy I wouldn't be able to lift my baby for weeks, maybe months, which means somebody would have to help me take care of her 24/7. That doesn't seem too manageable, but like everything else if it's what God wants me to do He will provide a way. I don't even need to worry about it. Philippians 4:6 "My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
It's amazing how something like this changes you. I love God more now then ever, and I loved Him a lot before all this!!! Our relationship has been so intimate, watching Him care for me, every detail. The provision, the increased love in my heart and in the heart of my family. The way I worship, the way I pray, the way I sympathize with others, the way I feel about myself, the way little stuff is all gone! Truly God is breaking off chains in my life, even some I didn't know were there! This is all being used for His Glory....which was my heart from the beginning and He's accomplishing it. What a honor to be allowed to be used that way by God.
I was also recently honored to be asked by my sponsor in Premier Designs (my new jewelry business) to give my testimony to the ladies at a training we're having in October. I have no idea what I am going to say, but I'm asking God, He will tell me what He wants me to say and that's my desire, the be His servant, for Him to use my lips for His Glory. I can hardly wait, what an opportunity that is!
Right now I'm sitting next a 49 year old man Keith who has 2 tumors behind his eye, had radiation and lost sight in that eye and is going through 10 rounds and chemo and then probably more after his next Scan....wow, God is always reminding me how blessed I am, how good I have it. Have had a wonderful conversation with his wife Norma today, we'll have pray together before I go.....Well 15 minutes left. Going to get up and get out of here! :)
Psalm 119:50 "This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life."
John 8:36 "If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed!"
Cancer ain't got nothing on me because of CHRIST!!! I love You Lord.
